Medieval Australia
I think all these suggestions about the Abbott government
taking us back to the 1950’s are ridiculous. That is just “Retro” talk.
No he plans to take Australia back further than that. We are
going to have the medieval times that Australia never had (or is it that “The
Medieval times Australia had to have! In political speak that is”)
I am sure it will be so romantic well particularly if you
are part of the upper class anyway. I
know I always enjoy the medieval fair, all that jousting, dressing in beautiful
clothes, watching knights try to kill each other while the damsels in distress
do the ironing.
I think Tony Abbott secretly sees himself riding a white
horse and being knighted by the Queen, riding around with his fellow knights of
the square table with much shorter right legs. Fighting for the good of the upper-class,
trying to get rid of those peasants that should just know their place anyway! “We
can’t have peasants being educated they might say things we don’t like. I mean
to say if we take away all their human rights they’ll die and we won’t have to
waste money on welfare! It will mean more champagne for the rest of us!”
Don’t you love the way he gets his Jester to tell all those
tall tales before he tells us the opposite. Oh what did you say, he hasn’t got
a Jester? Then who is that guy in the strange hat and the budgie smugglers?
Anyway don’t despair I have some suggestions for us
peasants.
Since we won’t have jobs or money or food etc I have made a
weekly planner to keep us occupied so we can do those little things like feed
ourselves etc.
Monday: The hunt,
Meet with all the other local peasants at your local park, forest or any other
green piece of land that is left to go Rabbit hunting! Well the rabbit is a pest like us peasants
anyway. If we are lucky we can also catch a deer or two. Please remember to
share your kill as it is the only way we can all survive.
NB : If Abbott brings back the feudal system remember to
have someone on look out or we may be hung for poaching his rabbits.
Tuesday: Foraging,
once again get a group of peasants to roam the streets and parks for any
greenery that looks edible, don’t be too fussy as snails are a delicacy in some
countries and if hunting is banned they may be our only source of protein.
Wednesday: Shopping, well not exactly shopping as such more
like looking in old bins at night for any clothes, wood etc.
Thursday: More
Foraging for grain around silos or your local “Goodies and Grain” stores bins,
it will take a fair bit to collect enough to make flour but it will be worth it
for that once a month slice of bread!
Friday: Education day, Any peasants that have any skills at
all must pass them on to the others as no one will be able to afford to go to
University or TAFE any more. Someone needs to show us how to hunt rabbits, skin
them and prepare them for cooking. Someone needs to show us how to grind grain
and how to make bread.
Saturday: Herb day, yes I recommend that you have a communal
herb garden and train someone up to be the Healer/ Druid for your area as no
one will be able to afford to go to the doctor or hospitals anymore.
Sunday: A day of rest for us to be grateful for what we have
because after all we are only peasants.
Mmm doesn’t sound quite as romantic anymore. Does anyone
know how to catch a rabbit? Something
tells me I’ll be eating snails.
By Margie Thomas
8th June 2014
No comments:
Post a Comment