Just for a bit of a change here is a silly story I wrote a few years ago, a bit like a yarn.
A cake to remember!
Well let’s just say it was not my best day but I guess it
could have been worse! It was the love
of my life’s birthday. As a good wife should I decided to bake him a chocolate
cake as it is his favourite. I dropped
number 1 and 2 children off to school and went back home with number 3. Number 3 child always wants to ‘help’ me in
the kitchen. I decided first to try the
old distraction routine. ‘Hey sweetie do you want to watch playschool?’ It worked for at least 10 minutes, just enough
time for me to find the cook book.
That’s when I looked around the kitchen and realised a
hurricane must have come to visit during the school drop off. I tried piling
things up but after breaking a cup and dropping the cook book on my foot; I
decided I could not put off cleaning up first before messing up again. After Child number 3 finished telling me off
for swearing I managed to start the dishes.
Child number 3 at my side standing on a chair slowly drying the
plastics, now when I say slowly, I mean paint dries quicker. I kept
reminding my self that patience is a virtue.
Well after an hour the dishes were finally done and I finished tidying
up ready to start the baking.
With the help of child number 3 I started to gather the
ingredients, at last I was on my way to getting this cake done. I got all the ingredients together and was
mixing when the phone rang. It was a
friend of mine but unfortunately one that doesn’t believe in taking a breath
between sentences and I think is trying to break the world record for the
longest phone call. After an hour on the
phone, I heard a smash from the kitchen and managed to squeeze into the
conversation something about an accident and hurried off the phone. Well there was number 3 child looking very
guilty, face covered in chocolate cake mix and faithful dog licking out the
chocolate cake mix from the broken bowl.
I muttered to myself something about the dog’s possible short life and
how ‘helpful’ children can be and then kicked the dog out and cleaned up the
mess.
Well by then it was time for lunch and time to put child
number 3 down for an afternoon nap. I took a deep breath and decided to start all over again. I gathered
the ingredients again. Damn I ran out of
eggs! I called my neighbour on the phone,
as I couldn’t go to the shops right then while child number 3 was
sleeping. Well my wonderful neighbour
had the eggs but she decided to bring them over and stay for a cup of tea. I
continued making the cake while she was there.
I got to put the cake in the oven! I couldn’t believe I could actually
get that far.
All seemed to be going my way at last. The oven timer
beeped and so I took the cake out of the
oven, the only problem was one of the oven gloves had a hole in it , I think it
was number 2 child playing with scissors, I burnt my fingers and dropped the
cake! Of course it landed up side down
and when I lifted up the tin the cake had broken into 3 pieces! After letting out a number of swear words
that would make a soldier blush I managed to get the pieces off the floor on to
the cooling rack. When it was cool enough I checked it for dog hair, I know,
not my finest hour. I brushed it off and it seemed ok. That is when Child number 3 woke up and it
was time to pick up the other two darlings from school. I covered the cake with
a tea towel hoping a miracle might happen while I was gone.
When I got back from school and after giving the hungry
hordes a snack and drink I made myself a cup of tea and thought about what I
could do. Then a solution to the
situation struck me! Glue I thought, not real glue, icing sugar or Jam
maybe. So I got the jam jar out of the fridge and yes this time I
was lucky there was enough left! I put the cake back together, it would be
covered in icing anyway, no one would know.
I managed to put it onto a plate ready to ice. The door bell rang. It was another neighbour from across the road
with two of her kids in tow. I made us both a cuppa and we sat down at the dining
table and had a chat, while the kids destroyed the house. The kids kept coming in asking for something
to eat, I told them as I always did that they had already had a snack and now
they could wait for tea.
It was about 4.30pm by the time my visitors had left, I went
back to start to ice the cake. I couldn’t
believe my eyes! The cake had shrunk! The little ‘angels’ had been slowly
taking bits of the cake and now it was the size of a cup cake!! I took a deep breath and decided to ice it
anyway as there was no time to do anything else. I dealt with the kids first
and put them in their rooms to do their homework! So I iced the cake and made
it look as nice as possible. Fortunately
we were having take away for tea anyway, so I didn’t have to stress about that.
I heard the car pull up in the driveway about 5.45pm, at last
he was home. He had picked up the take away on the way home. Tea went well and was gobbled up much quicker
than my normal cooking! I decided to get
the cake out with a candle on it to sing happy birthday to my hubby. I thought I would see his face first before I
told him the story. So I started to walk
into the dining room with the cake on a plate and we started to sing “happy
Birthday” Just then the cat went running in-between my legs but I didn’t lose
it, well not until the dog that was chasing the cat knocked me off my feet. The
cake went flying into the air and straight in to the dog’s mouth!
Needless to say that was the last time I have ever baked a
birthday cake!
By Margie Thomas 23/2/12
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