The Inner Child

Chapter 3

The inner child.

As I said in an earlier blog, I had to learn to talk to myself. I had to let myself know that I was safe. It may have sounded a little strange. There is a theory about every one having an inner child. I actually find it very useful.

When a person has been abused as a child, there are certain parts of them that never get to grow up because they were wounded at that age. So for example you may be in you 30’s but there are parts of you that still react like a hurt child.

The problem is that once you have been let down by your parents/guardians or anyone else in a position of power that was important to you, you cannot go back to get them to fix it. There are parts of you that are crying out to be loved and nurtured. That’s what I refer to in my poem “Silent too long” in the line “Damaged children in grown up’s clothes”. It is painful and confusing when you find yourself reacting strongly and emotionally to something that normally would be handled rationally. It is not your fault at all but there are ways to make it easier on yourself. As I said the Adults who caused the pain can’t fix it but instead you can. You can parent yourself. Listen to that child inside you. Comfort it when it is scared, nurture it, and be nice to it. The child will slowly catch up with the rest of you. I am not saying it is easy; it is a matter of getting into a habit so you don’t feel crazy doing it.

My doctor suggested that I make a doll of my inner child to help me connect. So I had something physical to look at and talk to. What ever works for you is just fine. Maybe you can think of another name for it if you feel uncomfortable about talking to your inner child. Maybe you could just call it positive affirmations. If you are still too uncomfortable with it that is fine too, every ones journey is different.

A few years ago I surprised myself and bought a toy. Weird as it sounds I bought it for me not my kids. It was a fairy rag doll with a great smile on its face. I can’t fully explain it but when I look at it I feel like it is smiling inside me. Now it is hangs in my office. :)